


What Lies Beneath the Surface

by CoralFlowerDaylight (CoralFlower)



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Puns, Bigender Deceit Sanders, Deceit Sanders Being A Helpful Asshole, Gen, Insecure Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Puns & Word Play, Sarcasm, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, imposter syndrome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 15:09:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16518857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralFlower/pseuds/CoralFlowerDaylight
Summary: Attempting a redemption arc for Deceit.Thomas: Thank you. I just. When I was first coming to terms with my anxiety, and trying to recover from it... I had to do some things that were really hard. Like thinking positive thoughts even when I didn’t really believe them--Roman: Oh.Thomas: And it felt-- like I was lying. But eventually, after long enough, I... I started to believe it. I started to believe that I deserved to have good things happen to me, and that my best efforts are enough. And no offense, Virgil, but without Deceit... I don’t think I could have fixed all the problems you caused.Because sometimes you have to trick yourself into feeling good about yourself. Deceit is a two-faced, sarcastic jerkface, but one of those faces might be good. Join Logan, Virgil, Patton, and Roman as they help Thomas uncover the truth of what lies beneath the surface.(Written partially in video scripts, partially with narration)





	1. Discordant

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Accepting Deceit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492649) by [DeceitMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeceitMe/pseuds/DeceitMe). 



> I headcanon that Deceit prefers she/her pronouns, but this ISN'T a genderbend, so the character's appearance is the exact same as in the lying video. I headcanon her as bigender.
> 
> Chapter 1 is formatted like a script for a video, but chapter 2 has real narration.
> 
> This is my first Sanders Sides fic, but my 98th fanfic overall. I hope you like it!! I've been following the series since it started but I never really had an idea for anything to write until now.
> 
> This was inspired by "Accepting Deceit" by DeceitMe, which was the first listing when I clicked on the Sanders Sides AO3 tag yesterday and also the first and only Sanders Sides fanfic I've read so far. I was looking for inspiration, planning to write some Virgil/Logan, but that fic made me realise that I really wanted to do more with Deceit. It's the author's first fanfic, and it's pretty ****in' good! It handles sensitive issues better than most fanfic and has warnings on every chapter.
> 
> Speaking of which, no warnings are necessary here. I've talked long enough, so enjoy!

Thomas: You guys, I’ve been thinking...

Logan: Yes, you’ve been quite quiet lately. What’s going on?

Thomas: You know Deceit...

Roman: Ew

Virgil: What about Deceit.

Thomas: I just... I’ve really been thinking a lot, and I think... He’s not... all the way bad?

Roman: What.

Thomas: Yeah, I--

Logan: Thomas, he impersonated Patton for almost an entire video.

Thomas: I know, but--

Roman: He tricked us all!

Thomas: yes, I know, but I--

Patton: He’s like lies given physical form! A slander-snake. A slander side--

Thomas: I know all that--

Roman: He’s a slimy, deceitful reptile--

Logan: A slippery, sarcastic liar--

Patton: *whining* He just rubs me the wrong way--

Virgil: *interrupting, frustrated* You guys, just let Thomas talk.

*momentary silence*

Thomas: Thank you. I just. When I was first coming to terms with my anxiety, and trying to recover from it... I had to do some things that were really hard. Like thinking positive thoughts even when I didn’t really believe them--

Roman: Oh.

Thomas: And it felt-- like I was lying. But eventually, after long enough, I... I started to believe it. I started to believe that I deserved to have good things happen to me, and that my best efforts are enough. And no offense, Virgil, but without Deceit... I don’t think I could have fixed all the problems you caused.

Virgil: *grudging* That’s probably true.

Patton: But he’s bad! Lying is bad!

Thomas: But Patton, sometimes telling the truth feels like lying.

Logan: But that doesn’t make any sense, Thomas. I see where you’re coming from, but how could you get truth and lies confused? Obviously you deserve good things.

Thomas: That may be obvious to you, Logan, but for a long time I didn’t see it. And sometimes you have to do things that feel like you’re lying. Remember at the start of all this Youtube stuff, when I didn’t think I really deserved all the recognition I was getting--

Logan: Ah, yes. Imposter syndrome, where you feel like you’re deceiving everyone around you into believing you’re competent and deserving of whatever responsibilities you’ve been granted-- ah. Oh, I see. I see.

Patton: What do you see?

Logan: When Thomas feels like he’s just tricking everyone into putting their faith into him... he still has to keep going anyway. He has to keep doing his job and making videos even when he feels like he’s just pretending to be worth listening to.

Roman: Wow. 

Patton: But Deceit still messes with you, Thomas. He’s--

Deceit: *suddenly lounging on the railing of the stairs; Virgil flinches. When Deceit speaks, it’s with heavy sarcasm.* Now, I haven’t--

Patton: AH!

Roman: Oh-- jeez.

Logan: So you’re here now. Lovely.

Deceit: Now, I haven’t been eavesdropping, so I wouldn’t know whether you’ve been using the right pronouns or not, but I just wanted to make sure everyone was using he/him for me. *sinister, insincere smile* Those are absolutely my pronouns, after all. It’s not like I made a point to refer to myself otherwise when I was first introduced :)

Logan: Did he-- did she just-- did you just say an emoticon out loud? How did you do that?

Roman: *Confused and a little put out, since he’s in charge of most of Thomas’s femininity.* Wait, so-- you’re a girl?

Deceit: Oh yes, Roman. *Clapping her hands slowly and sarcastically; the gloves make a weird noise.* Because everyone who uses she/her pronouns is a girl. You’re smarter than Logic himself.

Roman: *grumbling* It was just a question.

Virgil: Why are you here.

Deceit: I told you. I _only_ wanted to make sure you all weren’t misgendering me.

Patton: There’s something else, isn’t there.

Deceit: Oh, you’re always so insightful. Fine, perhaps I couldn’t help but overhear _part_ of your conversation--

Roman: So you were listening from the start--

Deceit: And it seems like-- Wow! I knew this day would come-- Thomas is finally accepting that you have to lie sometimes.

Virgil: *glaring at Deceit* You’re so frustrating to talk to, I never know which things to take seriously and what to just ignore.

Deceit: *mimes studying her nails, voice light. She swings her legs from atop the stair rail, and Virgil ducks out of the way.* Well, I find you positively delightful to converse with, Virgil darling--

Virgil: *muttering* Don’t call me that

Deceit: Or I used to, before you joined the light side and stopped being so maladaptive.

Virgil: *looks up, eyes narrowed* You’re saying I’ve gotten better.

Deceit: No, really?

Patton: But what about last time! You can’t expect us to believe--

Deceit: Ah, yes.... Last time. 

Roman: Oh yeah! You tried to hurt one of Thomas’s dear, dear friends!

*Virgil averts his eyes; Deceit nudges him.*

Deceit: Speak your mind, dear.

Virgil: *avoiding eye contact* Technically... it was Thomas who would have hurt Joan, if they had ended up caring more about that reading.

Patton: You’re right. *Virgil’s eyes widen.* Deceit was trying to do something that would hurt Thomas. Y’know, for someone supposedly in charge of selfish instincts--

Deceit: *sighing* I’m not going to drop the “always lies” gimmick for long enough to say I ████ed up, because I didn’t ████ up. I acted very reasonably, and given the chance to do that video over, I would act exactly the same as before. I learned nothing from the experience.

Logan: What? That’s impossible, you must have at least learned _something_ \--

Deceit: Oh, Logan... *fake smile* Your chronic failure to understand sarcasm is so... *she grimaces* endearing.

Patton: *muttering* You cuss a lot.

Deceit: Oh, ████, sorry :)

Logan: You did it again. The smiley face thing. How are you doing that?

Deceit: Hm? :) Doing what?

Logan: UGH!

Virgil: What’s the problem, Logan? Can’t you do it too? :)

Patton: What...

Roman: It’s a dark sides thing, they’re only doing it to get under our skins.

Virgil: I’m not a-- *He hisses at Deceit.* Stop doing that.

Deceit: *Grinning widely, inspecting her nails again* I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Virgil: I don’t have to follow every single impulse to lie that I feel! It’s okay if Thomas doesn’t listen to you sometimes!

Patton: *confused* But-- Virgil, you aren’t a dark side.

Virgil: *makes a face and hunches his shoulders* I--

Deceit: He knows that, sweetie. Of course he feels no lingering _anxiety_ about his place in Thomas’s life. Isn’t that right? Verge, tell them. You feel fine.

Virgil: *in a monotone* I feel fine.

Deceit: *Looking up from her gloves, eyebrows furrowed* I didn’t actually mean--

Virgil: No, I’m fine. It’s... not important.

Deceit: :/

Logan: How do you keep DOING that?

Thomas: Virgil, your feelings do matter.

Virgil: No they don’t.

Deceit: :///

Patton: Yes, they do.

Virgil: No! I-- I know we went through all this already, but I’m really not as important as the rest of you. It’s not important. I’m fine.

Patton: Verge--

Virgil: Stop! Just stop.

Deceit: Okay, ████er, you stop that right now. You are important--

Virgil: Stop lying.

Deceit: ████ you! I finally get to say something true-- I hate-- ████! Nope! I’m just fine! There’s nothing frustrating whatsoever about only getting to be nice to people as a consequence of them feeling ████ty about themselves! This is okay!

Thomas: What’s--

Deceit: Whatever. Logan, back me up.

Logan: *heaving a sigh, not happy about having to side with Deceit* She’s right, Virgil. Just because you feel like your feelings don’t matter doesn’t mean they don’t.

Virgil: It’s not--

Deceit: You know I wasn’t making you say you weren’t a dark side. You just started saying that on your own. I’m telling the truth for this sentence, I don’t have to lie all the time. It wasn’t a lie, even, you just thought it was. You’re defeating yourself.

Logan: Woah.

Thomas: Holy ████.

Roman: Oh no she didn’t!

Patton: *making a face*

Virgil: Whatever, this is-- this-- I thought I was doing better. But now Thomas says that’s all because of you--

Deceit: *back to sarcasm* Yes. It’s all because of me. You had no part in it at all. Getting help with something means you can’t take credit for it. Mhmm. Absolutely.

Virgil: *glaring at Deceit* Okay, that’s enough. Get out of my spot.

Deceit: *glaring back* Gladly. I didn’t want to be anywhere near you or spend any time with you anyway. Have fun perching on the stair rail like a bat. I can see my work here is done. This was a very productive conversation, so I won’t be back. *sarcastic for the sake of being ornery*

Thomas: Wait--

Deceit: Okay, Thomas, I’ll definitely postpone my very important business just for you. *She sinks out.*

Patton: Oh, good. Finally. She’s gone. Aha. *Cheesy laugh*

Logan: *raises his eyebrows*

Patton: *stage whisper* I don’t like her.

Logan: Well... me neither. But she really is necessary for Thomas’s functioning. Thomas, you brought up some points today that hadn’t occurred to me before.

Patton: Deceit is never necessary! Or at least not as often as she shows up.

Logan: :/ Let’s agree to disagree.

Thomas: Woah, you did it. How did you do that?

Logan: Do what?

To be continued guys, gals, and non-binary pals...


	2. Discovered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! This chapter has actual narration! It does still have some script elements though. You'll see why.

_Thomas : Woah, you did it. How did you do that?_

_Logan : Do what?_

Thomas: The... thing... nevermind.

“Well, that was interesting!,” Patton says. He chuckles. “Hey, not to harp on the same ol’ argument, but Thomas, I really have to say this. I _hate_ the idea of trusting Deceit. That slimy--”

“Let’s not lower ourselves to epithets, Patton. You’re better than that,” Logan cuts in.

Patton takes a deep breath.

“Ugh, fine. She just makes me feel so-- so icky! I try to turn the other cheek, but she’s relentless. And Thomas, even if she helped you with your anxiety in the beginning, that doesn’t change the fact that she’s hurt you a lot too.”

“I mean... I know,” Thomas says. “But those other things also don’t change the fact that she _has_ helped me. I just want you to look at her how she truly is. No parts hidden, or ignored. She’s been bad and good, just like Virgil.”

Virgil hunches his shoulders and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“Please don’t make that comparison,” he mumbles.

“I agree,” Logan says. “There’s an important difference between her and Virgil, being that Virgil is putting in the effort to do good instead of evil. Also, I don’t mind spending time with Virgil, whereas even a moment spent with Deceit is, at risk of being dramatic, agonising.”

Virgil smiles a small smile.

“Thanks, Logan.”

Thomas sighs, and chews on his lip, trying to figure out how to say what he wants to say.

“I just-- I want to be a healthy person with a healthy mind, and I know part of that is going to be augmenting the good parts of every side of me while trying to lessen the bad parts. All of you have flaws. I think Deceit is just more controlled by her flaws than any of you.”

“Then how can we lessen that control and save her from herself?” Roman asks.

Thomas shakes his head.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I have an idea, but I don’t think any of you will like it,” Roman says. “She probably won’t either.”

“Ugh,” Virgil says. “Well, what’s your idea?”

“I think we need to spend more time with her.”

Patton:  


Logan: Woah

Roman: You--

Virgil: Whaaaat.

Thomas: Did you just-- how did you do that, I clearly-- uh-- experienced that meme in my mind, how the ████ did you do that with your mouth?

Roman: Deceit!!! He’s obviously--

Deceit pops back into existence on the stair rail.

“Yes, Roman, you figured it out,” she says. “I magically started impersonating Patton between now and when I disappeared without any of you seeing me swap places. Truly, you astound me.”

“Well, Deceit, since you’re here,” Logan begins.

“Willow.”

“Will-- what?”

Deceit smirks.

“My name is Willow.”

“I strongly doubt that. Anyhow, were you listening to us?”

“No.”

“Good. What do you think of Roman’s idea?”

“Well, I’m honestly disappointed. I’m used to much better ideas from him. To be frank, I’d rather perish than spend any length of time with the five of you.”

Logan opens his mouth to respond, and then hesitates, and narrows his eyes at Deceit.

“Oh, flip off,” Roman scoffs, annoyed. “My ideas are good and you know it!”

Patton:  


Virgil snorts.

“Patton, this isn’t like you,” Thomas says. “What’s up?

Patton heaves a sigh.

“Thomas, you know I try to keep a positive outlook on things.”

“Yes.”

“Well I-- I just can’t! There’s nothing positive about this! I understand that sometimes we need Deceit, but I don’t think she’s ever going to be willing to play nice!”

“Yeah, Thomas, there’s nothing positive about this,” Deceit says. “You should just give up before you’ve even started, because there’s no point trying at all.”

Virgil glares at her and says,

“Falsehood.”

Logan: :O

“Thomas, I’ve learned that thinking like that isn’t helpful,” he continues. “And I may not like Deceit--”

“Hate you too, buckaroo.”

“But she did help me figure myself out. She has more than one side, she isn’t one-dimensional. I think she’s like us. And she said--” Virgil turns towards Deceit. “You said you can only tell the truth when one of us doesn’t believe it’s true. So when I got better... did you get worse?”

Deceit crosses her arms.

“No,” she says, but continues, quieter, “maybe.”

“Do you want to be better?”

Deceit makes eye contact with him, but doesn’t say anything, and Virgil leans forwards earnestly.

“Are you tired of lying? Are you tired of who you are, of always being the problem?”

Deceit pauses and adjusts one of her gloves. The snakey corner of her mouth quirks up.

“Yes.”

Virgil sighs, and his shoulders slump. He leans back away from Deceit, defeated.

“Fine. Whatever. I thought--”

“And no.”

Logan tilts his head.

“What? How does that follow? Are you tired of it or not?”

Deceit makes a face and pulls a hood up over her head; her jacket definitely wasn’t a hoodie before.

“You think I’m a monster,” she says quietly.

“We _know_ you’re a monster!” Patton bursts out. “I mean-- sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

Deceit blinks at him placidly.

“I know you didn’t,” she says, and Patton frowns.

“Patton, that was uncalled for,” Logan says.

“I’m sorry,” Patton repeats.

“Yes, you are,” Deceit says, vicious and sarcastic, though her voice remains even. “No need to worry. I accept your apology. We’re all friends here, after all.”

“This is exhausting,” Roman says. “You’re like a different person every time we talk to you.”

Deceit manifests tea and sips it.

“How so?”

Roman frowns, taken aback.

“Are you... asking me a question?”

“What does it sound like to you?”

“I don’t understand,” Roman says. “You’ve never cared what we think of you before.”

“Right, monsters don’t have feelings,” Deceit says. “If you were me-- if you couldn’t say anything you truly believe without gaining another _████ing_ snake scale--” Virgil breathes in sharply-- “what would you do? If you could only communicate truth by implying it, would you try to be truthful? And would you ask questions to gain a reprieve, to say something that is neither true nor false?”

“How many scales do you have,” Virgil asks. Deceit doesn’t answer.

No one says anything for a moment. Roman is watching Deceit with concern, and Logan’s eyebrows are furrowed, like he’s trying to figure out a difficult puzzle. Patton just looks shocked.

“What happens when you have no regular skin left?” Virgil asks.

“I don’t know!” Deceit shouts, leaning towards Virgil, who steps back. Deceit covers her mouth, and tears well up in her human eye. She hides her face and mutters, “████. I didn’t mean to say-- I just-- Whatever.”

Virgil bites his lip, worried, but he’s too anxious to try asking another question.

“Do you...” Deceit turns towards Patton, and he hesitates. “Do you wear the gloves to hide more scales? How much-- how much regular skin is left?”

“Plenty,” Deceit says. Her voice breaks.

“Oh,” Patton says. He’s frowning now, not making eye contact. “Well-- that-- that sounds pretty hard, kiddo.”

Deceit’s eyes widen minutely. She doesn’t say anything, but it’s obvious that she’s listening to Patton, waiting for him to say more.

“Deceit,” Roman says. “Do you like the scales? Would you cover them up if you could?”

“No,” Deceit says.

“Wait,” says Roman after a pause. “Which question-- hm, you can’t really answer that, can you. If you want me to help you with makeup, stop by my room sometime, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Patton says. “I really am this time. I didn’t realise...”

“I’m not sorry,” Deceit says. She looks at Patton pleadingly, hoping he’ll understand what she actually means, and after a moment, he nods.

“If you apologised, I would accept it,” he says. “Buuut! You have to do better. We’ll try and help you.”

“And thank you,” Virgil says. “For helping me already, when I needed it.” He has his arms crossed and it’s pretty obvious that he feels awkward saying it.

“You’re not welcome,” Deceit says, and Virgil grins.

“Woah,” says Roman. “You’re actually smiling. That’s a first.”

“Why am I feeling this strange pressure in the left side of my chest?” Logan says, and Patton clasps his hands together excitedly.

“Aww! You’re having a _feeling_ , Logan, isn’t that exciting?”

“A feeling? No, I’m pretty sure I’m having some sort of mutated heart attack. Thomas, go look up uncommon heart attack symptoms--”

“Logan, you’re a side, you can’t have a heart attack,” Roman says, and rolls his eyes. “Honestly.”

“I’ve smiled before,” Virgil says.

“No, I’m pretty sure you haven’t,” Roman insists.

“Yes, he has,” says Deceit, hiding a smirk behind her hand.

“No! He has _not_ \-- oh. Ha! Deceit agrees with me!”

“Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm procrastinating a 3-page spanish essay thats worth like 15% of my grade to write this fic so i hope you guys like it lol

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and tell me what you liked, and what you think I could have done better! Or follow me on [tumblr](http://coralflower-ao3.tumblr.com).
> 
> [reblog this post to share](https://coralflower-ao3.tumblr.com/post/179756553171/what-lies-beneath-the-surface-a-deceit)


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